Trouble in Paradise

Trouble in Paradise

February 12th, 2017 @

When you started out was your relationship easy, you couldn’t put a foot wrong. Well now there’s been some water under the bridge and the rocks are starting to appear. At first, any difference of opinion or clash of values was easily navigated or conveniently ignored, now there seems to be more arguments and tension that’s getting harder to resolve.

Do you find your drinking more, avoiding going home, and looking for the answers with your mates or maybe that cute girl from the coffee shop? Sometimes is can be hard trying to navigate a relationship, having to talk about your feelings, get vulnerable and be strong and true to yourself all at the same time. The feelings and vulnerability part are easier for women, their socialised that way, and for men, it can be like travelling to a foreign land.

It doesn’t make it any easier when the love of our life is frosty towards us and sex doesn’t solve all our relationship problems. What do you do? When the usual method of avoiding is not working, neither is withdrawing or getting angry. That leaves only one other option, communication, and for men, that’s where things can get messy. We want to tackle a problem, fix it and move on. She does not want you to fix anything, she wants to feel heard.

Making time to talk without the distraction of TV, phone or internet, not having somewhere to go straight afterwards and giving yourself some time to decompress after work. Give her the opportunity to express her emotions without taking it personally and resist your innate desire to breakout the tool kit and start the repairs.

Make a commitment to ongoing open and honest communication, have a sense of your own needs, because the only way to have the relationship you want is to be an active participant.

Mark Hales


Category : 'Man Cave' &Alcohol Dependence &Blog &CoupleStuff &Depression &Grief &Relationships

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